Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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