so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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