so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize