Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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