ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
me + whiskey = a bad person
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
