i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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