After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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