that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
