He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Pants are for mortals
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