wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
