Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
