im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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