I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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