God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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