And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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