Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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