he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
