when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
