My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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