dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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