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wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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