is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"