Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.

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(407): wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved. http://tfl.nu/edpa

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(678): View more from Georgia

The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.

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(678): The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic. http://tfl.nu/0ai8

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

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(901): Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives. http://tfl.nu/lbn9

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(217): View more from Illinois

just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good

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(217): just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good http://tfl.nu/mlgi

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(479): View more from Arkansas

the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"

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(479): the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is" http://tfl.nu/kt8o

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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(203): My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression. http://tfl.nu/go1x

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(631): View more from New York

Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.

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(631): Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you. http://tfl.nu/saac

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(434): View more from Virginia

some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.

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(434): some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads. http://tfl.nu/zu14

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.

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(781): He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory. http://tfl.nu/fp19

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.

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(307): Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids. http://tfl.nu/60tn

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(812): View more from Indiana

I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.

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(812): I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ijx1

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight

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(508): And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight http://tfl.nu/ebf5

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(417): View more from Missouri

Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?

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(417): Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off? http://tfl.nu/54ro

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.

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(314): I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts. http://tfl.nu/af4a

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(289): View more from Ontario

our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after

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(289): our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after http://tfl.nu/x4st

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