the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
