Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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