Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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