Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
