okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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