Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
