What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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