I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
