Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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