This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
