4 words: hood of his car
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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