In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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