I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Someone signed my nipple.
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