I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just gargled with NyQuil
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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