They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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