Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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