Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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