Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
