Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
