We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
