Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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