just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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