dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize