Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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