There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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