I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
