my mouth tastes like poor choices
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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