I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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