he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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