my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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