just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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