I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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