If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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