So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
