Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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