If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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