The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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