We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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