Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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